Dazed AM

Baked at 6:42AM 

Laying in this bed preparing for my night’s sleep 

Can’t decide if it’s a bit early or a bit late to me

The birds are squawking and chirping away

Violently communicating outside of my window pane 

To the street of Pacific

And then suddenly they stop

Only the special few continue but sparsely

Dim red lights illuminate the bed, 

the softness of the pillow and comforter emanate

Warmth radiating off this person in the bed with me

Their consistent quiet breath and movement keep me meditative

The bird songs transport me to some place unimaginable 

unless you are me

6:45AM

 The air is a bit stiller

and my eyes a bit droopier

Torn Shadow Friends

An overwhelmingly grim dark wave that grows larger with time and feels unstoppable.

Daily life has begun to feel so intense, as if my gut is forever falling from a tall skyscraper yet to hit the ground.

Trying to grasp every thought that goes through one end but the friends in my head don’t have boundaries or the ability to ‘read the room’ and they yell over each other with directions, ideas, chaotic humor and nasty reminders.

A light flickers faintly in the corner of my eye while my eyes remain locked forward and out of focus.

The thoughts competing for the spotlight.

These are moments in which my vessel feels human, too human in a way where I need to power off from over exerting myself.

Time is quickly slipping, days are months months are years and soon we won’t be here to see the minutes turn to hours like they used to.

Being numb and out of focus is similar to creating a shield between the soft spirit in your body and the external world.